A gem's glow
by AlphomegaMaster
Summary: Steven finally has the heart to heart that he needs. Major spoilers for the episode "Change your mind" Feedback wanted, so please leave a review. art used with permission from xmaikowolfx /art/Fanart-I-am-my-Mom-744333126.
1. Chapter 1

Steven Universe was absolutely exhausted.

After all, fusing 4 times in a row, fixing a broken family, and saving all the corrupted gems on earth at one took a lot out of him. He really enjoyed the adventure, and he was going to have to get used to things being so low-key. But right now, all he really wanted was to have a good night's sleep.

However, tonight, Steven would have a dream. A dream unlike any other.

Tonight, he would have the heart to heart that he really needed.


	2. If I could begin to be

Steven didn't really know where he was, or how he got there. He just knew that one minute he was drifting of to sleep, and the next minute he was wherever "here" was. I looked like he was in a castle made out of pink crystal. He rubbed his eyes for a moment before he came to the conclusion that he was just dreaming, like that time with kiki.

He heard something. It sounded like someone was... singing in the distance? Who else was here?

"If I could… Begin to be, Half of what you think of me"

That voice, steven thought, sounds so familiar. Where has he heard it before?

"I could do about anything, I could even learn how to love!"

There wasn't really anything else to do there, so he decided to follow the music.

"When I see… the way you act, wondering when I'm coming back"

The singing was getting louder

"I could do about anything, I could even learn how to love… like you."

The song itself was starting to sound familiar. Where has he heard it before?

"I always thought, I might be bad, now I'm sure that it's true!"

"Cause I think you're so good… and I'm nothing like you"

Steven arrived at the source of the music, but did not enter the room just yet.

"Look at you go, I just adore you. I wish that I knew!"

Steven peeked into the doorway.

"What makes… you think I'm so spe...cia-" the singing stopped. The singer turned around to see the edge of steven's head as he hid against the wall, his heart racing and his head unsure of who he just saw.

"Hello?" said the mysterious person. "Who's there?" Steven heard the clicking of shoes on the crystalline floor. "Who are you?... How did you get here?" the speaker stepped out of the room and looked around. "The only other person who can be here is-" she stopped when she saw Steven. "S… Steven?" there was an awkward silence as the two stared at each other in awe, confusion, and shock.

Steven was standing in front of his mom, pink diamond.

"Steven… Is it really... you?" tears started to form in her eyes as she shrunk down enough to meet steven at eye-level from her knees. She held his head in her hands, with the tears only flowing faster as she pulled her son into a hug.

"A-Are you… are you really pink diamond?" Asked Steven, unsure if this was another storm in the room incident. Pink didn't answer, so Steven asked again "Are you really my mother? Or are you another fake that just shows me who I want you to be?!" His eyes grew misty with each passing second. The silence returned.

"If I were who you wanted me to be." asked Pink as she held him close "If I were the person that everyone thought I was all those years ago... would I be Pink Diamond?"

Real tears came to Steven's eyes as he realized the implications. "I guess not." Steven finally built up the courage to return the hug.

This was the real Pink Diamond.

This really was his mom.


	3. Half of what you think of me

Steven and Pink Diamond sat across from each other in the room where Pink was singing "I suppose," Said Pink, "you have a lot of questions right now." Steven nodded. "Where do you want to start?"

Steven thought for a moment. "Where are we?"

"That's easy. We're in my… er… your… uh… let's just call it our gem for now. Okay?"

Steven chuckled. "Sure. Our gem." Steven thought about his next question. "What about lion?"

"What do you mean?"

"Where did your pink lion come from?"

"Oh, him? Well, that's not much of a story, really. He used to be a normal lion that I came across in the sea of sand. Over the years, I grew fond of him, and even loved him like a pet. But that was millennia ago, back when I couldn't stand to see any living thing die, when I couldn't accept that he was gone. So I had used my healing tears to bring him back, and essentially make him immortal." She giggled a little bit. "At the time, I had no idea what he was capable of."

"Wow! That's so cool!" Steven had stars in his eyes. "So, can anything organic that's revived with our powers do what lion can do?"

"Well… If Lion can do those things, Lars probably can too."

"Wait." Steven was suspicious of what the Diamond had said. He never mentioned Lars before. "How do you know abou-" Pink put her finger over his mouth, shushing him. There were stars in her eyes as her smile grew from sheer glee

"I thought you would never ask!"

"What are you talking abo-WOAH!" Pink diamond lifted Steven up into her arms like a groom carrying a bride.

"Hold on tight! You're going to love this!" In an instant, Pink diamond ran at top speed through the maze of corridors that made up the Gem's astrial palace until she came to a room with a giant rose quartz gem on the wall like a planetarium theater. Pink put Steven down next to her.

"Woah! What's that?"

"This… Is where I've spent the last 14 years..." Pink ruffled Steven's hair "Watching my baby boy grow up through his own eyes."

"So... You can see w-what I can see through this thing?" Steven was very nervous.

"No, I didn't watch _everything_. I may be you, but you're allowed to have _some_ privacy." Pink winked in a way that reminded Steven of something, but he didn't know what.

"Hey... Can I ask another question?" asked Steven, timidly.

"Anything at all."

"...Did you make me... just to get away from the consequences?"


	4. I could do about anything

Pink lowered her head a bit and sighed. "I knew you were going to ask that." She put her hand on Steven's shoulder. "Not a day goes by when I wish you didn't have to."

"What do you mean by that?"

"When I met Greg, at first, I just saw him as a fun human who wasn't put off by me being, well, an immortal space alien. But as time went on, I learned so much more about him. I learned he was kind, honest, caring, passionate, loving!" Pink wiped a tear away. "Everything the crystal gems thought I was." She turned her head away as she brought her hand to her chin.

"Everything I wasn't."

It was Steven's turn to comfort his mother. He put his hand on her forearm.

"I don't know what he, or anybody else, could have possibly seen in me. I put his entire planet in danger by lying for over five thousand years, and forced the only gem who would call me a friend to a life of silence just so I could run away from my responsibilities!" Pink's eyes were welling up. "Rose Quartz didn't deserve any of the praise she got. She was no better than Pink Diamond. Everything she did, she did without thinking about what she was doing. Without caring who got hurt. All she cared about was being something she wasn't!" Tears pooled on the translucent pink floor. "Greg was the first human I ever looked up to! He was everything I wanted to be! Everything that I could NEVER be!"

* * *

Steven and Pink had been sitting on her bed for the last 20 minutes. Steven had his arm on Pink's shoulders as she tried to calm down enough to talk to Steven.

"When Pink Diamond," She finally said through light sobs, "Burst out of the ground nearly ten thousand years ago, all she wanted was what was promised to her name. When Rose Quartz saw the earth for the first time, she wanted to be its' protector." Pink finally stopped crying and looked at Steven. "But when I found out that Greg and I could make a child, and raise you as our own." She held her hand to his cheek. "There wasn't a single thing in the entire universe I wanted more than to call myself your mother," She kissed Steven on the forehead. "And call you my child."

Steven blushed at what his mother said. "That sounds beautiful. But," Steven shifted a bit. "There's a little more to the story, isn't there?"

Pink chuckled a bit. "You're part human alright. Do you remember the story Greg told you about when I met baby Sour Cream?"

"Y-yeah. Didn't you say that you admired humans because they were able to be whoever they wanted to be?"

"I admire you because you can grow up. I thought, if I raised you, I could grow up with you. I could learn with you about everything I couldn't understand. I wanted... I wanted to learn how to love with you."

"But... if you saw the world through my eyes, doesn't that mean you learned with me?"

Pink was silent for a moment, lost in thought. "Not to me."

"What are you-"

"I've made so many mistakes by acting without thinking Steven. As Pink Diamond and Rose Quartz. But the worst mistake I've ever made, the biggest regret I've ever had..." Pink covered her face with her hands. "... Was not being there for you."


	5. I could even learn how to love

"I wanted to be your mother Steven." Pink was starting to cry again. "I wanted to hold you close every time you cried as a baby. I wanted to help you up whenever you fell down as you learned how to walk." Pink clenched her fists. "I wanted to sing you to sleep when you were afraid of the dark, and sleep with you whenever you had a nightmare in the middle of the night." her breaths were heavy and fast. "It broke my heart when I found out I couldn't be there to raise you... but it broke my heart even more every time you were told the lies I've told as the truth. I just wanted to be your mother, Steven, and prove to myself that I didn't ruin everything I touched!"

Steven tried to comfort his mother. "But, the Crystal Gems and dad did all of those things! My life isn't ruined becau-"

"BECAUSE I WASN'T THERE TO RUIN IT!" Pink shouted as she began to sob. "I tried to change Steven, but I CAN'T! No matter how hard I try, I'll always be a Diamond! A lying, planet-destroying, life-ruining Diamond!"

It broke Stevens' heart to see his own mom hate herself this way. Tears began to roll down his cheeks.

"I only wanted the best for you Steven." Pink sniffed "I couldn't have given you that if I was there."

The silence after that was deafening. For the first time, Steven _Diamond_ Universe knew his mom for who she truly was; A self-doubting, self-loathing being who wanted to prove to herself that she wasn't the monster or the saint everyone thought she was.

And he was supposed to be her last chance.

"You know that's not true..." Said Steven, his voice shaky as he got off the bed.

"How can you say that when-" Pink started.

"How can _You_ say it is?!" This surprised pink. "If you've seen everything in my life through my eyes, then you of all people should know that _anyone_ can change! Lars, Sadie, Dewy, Connie. All of them changed because they really wanted to!"

"I'm not human Steven! Gems don't-"

"Then how were the Crystal Gems made? Did Pink Diamond _order_ them to rebel? Or did Rose Quartz _convince_ them that they could be whoever they wanted to be?"

"This has nothing to do with that."

"It has _everything_ to do with that! Peridot used to want to destroy earth, and now she's willing to do anything to protect it! And Bismuth was just like you were; wanting to act without thinking of all the consequences! But now that she knows the truth, she forgave you! And Lapis, she was scared, qnd just wanted to run away. But she decided that she would rather help her friends and protect her home!That's three Gems who have changed, and don't even get me started on the cluster! Why can't you see that you can change to?! What is it that I'm not understanding?!"

Another prolonged silence filled the air.

The look of surprise on Pinks' face as unchanging as the look confused curiosity on Stevens'.

"Please... Mom..." a tear rolled down Stevens' cheek. "What am I not understanding?"

Then Pink closed her eyes.

Took a deep breath.

And started to sing.

 _If I could... Begin to be half of what you think of me,_

 _I could do about anything. I could even learn how to love!_

Suddenly, screens of steven's memories appeared around them, all of them in Steven's perspective.

 _When I see... the way you act, wondering when I'm coming back,_

 _I could do about anything. I could even learn how to love... like you._

Steven saw his interactions with the Gems, his friends, and his family. All of them filled with hope, joy, and courage, aall because of Steven's words.

 _Love, like you._

Then more memories appeared. Steven didnt recognize most of the characters in them, but he did see pearl, and the other diamonds, so he assumed that they were from his mom. All of them were filled with conflict, struggles, hardships and war. The gem war, to be precise, and all the regets that his mother had.

 _I always thought I might be bad, Now I'm sure that it's true!_

 _'Cause I think you're so good... and I'm nothing like you!_

 _Look at you go! I just adore you! I wish that I knew..._

 _What made... you think I'm so spe...cial_

Pink walked up to feel steven's face again.

 _If I could...begin to do something that does right by you,_

 _I would do about anything. I would even learn how to love..._

Pink was starting to sing slower, her voice shaking as tears began to form in her eyes.

 _When I see... the way you look..._

 _Shaken by how long it took..._

 _I could do about anything..._

 _I could even learn how to love..._

 _Like you..._

Steven hugs Pink, catching her off guard.

 _Love me like you..._

Through tears, pink returns the hug, cherishing the embrace of her son.

"I love you mom."

Pink was shocked at what she just heard. "How could you say that after everything I've done? After all the weight I put on your shoulders? After all the things I did wrong... what did I do right?"

Steven thought for a moment. "You made me." He said finally "You did that right, right?"

Pink chucled a little, but then thought abou what Steven said.

And he was right. "... I suppose I did." Pink held her son closer, her tears still flowing. But replacing her frown was a smile.

After all these years, she had finally learned how to love.


	6. UPDATE! (7:6:2018 5:15 PM PTD)

I wanted this story to feel like it could be a cannon closure for steven, and with new information coming to light with the heart of the crystal gems arc (Which hasnt finished yet as of writing this) I feel like I need to do some retcons with the story, like adding bismuth and changing a scene in chapter 3. This will not affect the ending i had originaly planned, but I may or may not need to wait until a few episodes after this one, depending on what happens in tonight's episode.

 ** _I AM NOT MAKING ANY DRASTIC CHANGES TO PRE-EXISTING CHAPTERS. JUST MAKING THEM FEEL MORE CANNON._**

I am so glad that all of you love my story and have waited this long, but if the episode is not what i think it is, you may need to wait a little while longer.

With legitimate love;

Alphomegamaster

* * *

Just finished watching the episode

...

...

(Future self: massive spoiler warning)

AAAAAAAAH!

FIRST THEY HAD THE ADORABLE GARNET WEDDING THAT WASNT CRASHED RIGHT BEFORE THE KISS THEN THEY HAD THIS EPIC SCENE WHERE THE CLUSTER EMERGED BUT IT DIDNT DESTROY THE EARTH BUT IT TURNED INTO A GIGANTIC HAND THAT HAD AN ARM WRESTLE WITH YELLOW DIAMONDS SHIP WHILE BLUE DIAMOND THE IRISH GAL WENT DOWN AND CAUSED THIS SADNESS EMPATHIC FIELD THAT MADE ALL THE GEMS CRY BUT CONNIE WASNT AFFECTED AND TRIED TO ATTACK BLUE ON LION USING ROSES SWORD BUT BLUE SHATTERED IT LIKE A GLASS TOOTHPICK THEN GARNET DISTRACTED HER AND LAPIZ CAME BACK WITH THE ENTIRE BARN IN THE AIR IN A BUBBLE AND WAS LIKE WASSUP YOU GON DIE THEN THE WHOLE BARN WAS DROPED LIKE AN ACME SAFE OR A DAFT PUNK BASS THEN THERE WAS THE WHOLE REUNION WITH HER GIRLFRIEND THAT WAS CUT SHORT WHEN BLUE TRIED TO DO THE WHOLE FIELD AGAIN BUT LAPIZ WASNT HAVING IT SO SHE DID THE WHOLE CHAIN THING LIKE WITH MALACHITE SO THE OTHERS COULD DO THIS EPIC WOMBO COMBO WHILE THE CLUSTER WON THE ARM WRESTLING AND WAS LIKE PEACE OUT HOMIES LATER AND THEY WERE CELEBRATING AND IT WAS ALL GREAT BUT THEN YELLOW CAME OUT AND WAS LIKE OH NOW YOU GON GET IT AND KNOCKED OUT STEVEN BUT THEN HE DID THE WHOLE DREAM THING AND ENCOURAGED THE CRYSTAL GEMS WHILE TELLING THE DIAMONDS YO CHILL IM YOUR GRANDKID OR NEPHEW OR WHATEVER AND IT WAS ALL GOOD UNTIL THE CLIFFHANGER! THE F#$%^$ CLIFFHANGER MAN! OH MY GOD! WOW! That was an amazing episode! So, yeah. It turns out im going to have to change the whole "Connie didn't know" thing, maybe replace it with something like "Quick, hide this before the diamonds find out!" so, yeah, you're really going to have to wait. I don't know how long but I promise that I will make this story worth it.


	7. I am so sorry everyone

This is important to me. I need to know that what I'm about to say is something you can all understand.

...

I don't think I'll ever finish this story. The show just confirmed that I can't.

(Spoilers for battle of heart and mind)

Long-time followers of this story will remember that I said that I wanted this story to feel as canon as possible, so Steven could have a chance to say goodbye to his mom, pink.

But he can't... because she's gone...

It's the equivalent of losing your mother at birth. Pink is gone, and that was just confirmed. She's not hiding inside his gem, she's probably not hiding in Steven's mind either.

Pink diamond has become Steven Universe.

I'll try to resume writing, but it's no longer on my priorities to finish.

I am so sorry to anyone who wanted this to be finished, but I can't finish this. Not in the way I wanted to.

I hope you all enjoyed the Steven Universe season 5 finale.

have a good night, everyone.


	8. HANG ON!

HANG ON!

I may not be able to _continue_ the story, but I _can_ start over! I can rework the premise, make it so that steven meets his mom in a dream! the story lives on!

The chapters will change! So be prepared to see the last few filler chapters disappear! "A Gem's Glow" lives on!

As of right now, the changes have been made! So until next time!


	9. When I see the way you act

Pink finally pulled away from her son's hug, looking at his face again. Tears formed once more. "Oh Steven... my baby boy..." She gave him a kiss on the forehead "I am so proud of you."

This made Steven blush a bit. "Aww, mooom," He said with a massive smile, putting a hand on his cheek in mock shame "Cut it out! You're embarrassing me!" Pink couldn't help but laugh at this.

"Pff! Hahaha!" She giggled as she rustled Steven's head of puffy hair, making him giggle too. "I'm your mom! I thought that was my job! Hahahaha!"

"Heheheha! Nu-uh, that's what dads are for!" He continued the laughter as he tried to get pink's hand away from his head. "Tiny hand's activate!" but his attempts were in vain.

"Oh no, that may work on garnet, but it doesn't work on me little mister!" She ruffled up his hair one more time before pulling away, her smile wider than ever. They both just sat there and laughed before falling back onto the massive bed, sighing. They were silent for a little bit afterwards, both of them just enjoying each other's company for the first time. "Steven," Pink finally broke the silence. "Thanks, for everything. I'm so glad that we could finally see each other, even if it was just for a little while. I just..." Pink trailed off

"Just what?" Steven sat up to look at Pink. "What's wrong?"

Pink also sat up, wearing a look of disappointment. "I... I just wish I could have said goodbye to everyone else one last time."

"Oh..." Steven understood. He just wished that there was a way for him to help, but there wasn't anything that he could do. Unless... "Wait a minute..." he thought for a moment, and his eyes lit up into stars! "*Gasp* I've got an idea!"

* * *

Steven walked through the clouds of his temple room, and sat down on a more comfortable cloud. "Alright room... I know that I've asked to see my mom before... and you did that, in a way. I want you to do it again, but this time... can you kind of get into my mind and.. well.. I-it's a little complicated." Steven rubbed the back of his neck. Then the room created a chair for him to sit in, as well as a pad of paper and a pen. "Wh- Oh! You want me to write it down?" The tiny floating whale appeared and gave a nod of approval before giving steven some fin. "Hehe, alright." Steven settled into the chair and started to write his request, being as clear as possible.

After he was done, steven hopped out of the chair and held out the paper. "Okay, I'm done now. You wanna take a look and tell me if it can be done?" a few clouds suddenly moved and turned into an open mailbox. Steven put the notebook in the mailbox and waited.

A few moments later, the flag was raised and steven opened it up again. There was a piece of paper with some words on it that read "It can be done, but your friends Peridot and Bizmuth will need to make something."

Steven took this as a yes to his request and smiled "Yes! Okay, what do they need to make?" The room answered by adding some words to the rest of the paper. Steven read it out loud "'Get a large piece of paper and a pen and I will create a blueprint.' Alright! I'll get that right away" Steven gave the mailbox a hug and a little kiss "Thanks room!" He said before running to get the stuff.

the mailbox blushed a bit after steven left.

* * *

Peridot and Bizmuth looked over the blueprints that Steven was showing them, a little confused as to how Steven made it, and what he would need it for. "Steven, how did you get these plans? This is a little complex, even for the most genius earth engineer." Peridot commented

"I didn't really make it, my room did." Steven explained "I want to do something. It's... a surprise." Steven blushed.

"Can you at least tell us what this thing is supposed to do?" Bizmuth asked as she took the blueprints and spread them out across her anvil. "I mean, I love a good challenge, but it'd be a bit easier to build this thing if we knew exactly what it is we're building. And what's with the scale? Are you building a watch for the diamonds?"

Steven chuckled a bit and blushed "Yeah, something like that..." I mean, it was the truth. It was for _a_ diamond. "Look, just trust me, this is gonna be great!" He leaned against the anvil and gave them a face that only a mother could resist. "Have I ever scared you wrong?"

Bizmuth only raised a brow. "You mean, there's a wrong way to scare people? I mean, clearly there is, since I've never been scared by you."

Peridot, ironically, was the only one of the two hew know about what that phrase meant, mostly because it was often said by one of the characters introduced during season 4 of camp pining hearts. "Uh, Bizmuth? Steven was merely implying that he's never told us to do something that we've regretted. Like me making up with lapis or you being at Garnet's wedding. Honestly I'm surprised that you don't know what that means but I do."

Steven snickered a bit... and so did pink, subconsciously.


End file.
